Preferred Provider

Servant of God Father Luigi Guissani says, “Christ calls some so that all may become aware of His event.  Now is this not unjust?  Why only those whom He calls and not everyone?  He calls everyone, as St. Paul says, but by a means of a method that gets one person after another involved with Him.  God raised Jesus on the third day and wanted Him to appear not to all the people, but to the witnesses He had chosen…” (Generating Traces in the History of the World, page 43).

I completely believe that I am one of the preferred ones that He has called to further His mission in the world.

It was a God nudge that got us started teaching NFP which eventually led to us recording an online version of the class we teach in real life.  In 2018 alone over 12,000 people learned NFP from our videos (catch a glimpse here: https://youtu.be/UBzE16KZ-pI).

A fellow NFP teacher introduced me to Catechisis of the Good Shepherd, I’m trained in Level I and II and will complete my Level III training this summer.  Over the last 7 years I have taught hundreds of children at two different parishes and helped to open a Level I and II atrium at my home parish.  And that’s just scratching the surface; I spend most of my time doing some kind of volunteer work for our church, school and community, mostly with joy.

But lately I had been getting burned out.

I said a silent prayer in my head a couple months ago, pleading for help: “Lord I know you called me to all these things, and I want to do your work, but I’m so tired. I really need a break.”

Enter COVID-19!  (Maybe I should have been more specific about what kind of break I needed, ie, I really need a break on the beach by myself for a week.)

Now, I’m not trying to make light of a serious situation or to say that the Good Lord created a pandemic just to please me but… He has his mysterious ways.  And although I miss receiving the Eucharist so much it hurts; I am so grateful for this beautiful moment at home with my husband and kids.

Homeschooling has been a wonderful experience; we’ve had so much more time to pray together as a family and really getting to know one another in a new and deeper way.  Instead of eating dinner as quickly as possible and rushing off to a meeting or a practice, we are sitting and talking and genuinely enjoying each other’s company.  I can’t believe it took a pandemic for me to get to know my kids but here I am, learning something new about them every day.

I know it won’t last forever, and maybe after a couple months these feelings will wear off and I’ll be sending SOS messages instead.

But in the meantime, I’m grateful for this wakeup call and this chance to reflect on my life and my priorities and the beautiful reminder that rest is a required part of any good life dedicated to service.