One of the most beautiful blessings to be received during my time of suffering has been entering into Spiritual Direction.
I had thought, intellectually, about my want and need for a Spiritual Director when my former husband began his crisis of faith a little over 10 years ago.
I thought I needed someone to step in, as my leader had stopped leading, however, it wasn’t until I was in the darkness and pain of true suffering that God granted this grace. Oh, such sweet grace! The Holy Spirit worked through my sweet Ms. Betsy to help me see Jesus in the darkness. To listen to Him and see Him in the hands, feet, eyes and hearts of His people.
My senses became so aware of every possible gift from God.
Small children particularly were used to minister to me in a way that was also noticed by others. They were so young, they had no idea what was happening in my life, but they reached out to hug me, kiss my cheek and shower me with God’s love. This would even happen at the grocery store!
I learned to accept this pure love and thank God for it.
It was so humbling. We often think of small acts of love being used to show God’s love to others, and to love God, but to receive it is such an awesome experience.
I have since learned that once one opens his or her heart and mind to receive the grace of seeing our Lord in the everyday, He bombards you with love. As soon as a wave of grief or hurt would hit me, so would an act of love. It became to frequent that when pain came, I would start looking for the moment of love.
I received so many calls and texts – just at the right time, or would walk in to a store or church and see a particular friend who wouldn’t normally be there, see a murmuration of starlings in the sky, or be drawn to something beautiful in nature, or through Art. This continues even to now, when difficult times arise, I am surrounded by people loving me and sharing His abundant love.