Ever notice how you view your time? How you think about the ways you use your time? I catch myself thinking things like “I just vacuumed that room 2 days ago. I shouldn’t have to do it again so soon!” or “Yesterday, I wiped those counters. How are they already dirty?”
I often feel I’m wasting time doing something I just did again so soon. Of course, I don’t say to myself, “You just ate lunch; why are you reaching for those chocolate covered pretzels?” or “You just watched an episode of Downton Abbey; why are you starting another one?”
When it comes to chores or things I don’t particularly like, it’s easy enough to start gauging in my mind how much is too much. I start balancing what I consider a fair amount of work with what I see before me as too much. But of course, when I’m on vacation, I never think there’s too much time at the beach or too many naps in the afternoon.
Time spent on our soul often comes across in a similar way. It’s very human to think along the lines that Mass only takes an hour, a Rosary is a short 15 minutes and I just went to confession a week ago: do I really need to go again so soon? I find myself again gauging what’s seems a fair amount of prayer and time spent on spiritual matters.
Like it’s a balancing act of time with God vs my real world of to-do lists and appointments.
Obviously, my vocation is not going to have me praying without ceasing in that devout, reciting-of-many prayers type of way. I have lots to do constantly for my family and my home. That is my calling and what I am supposed to be doing. My soul however, needs me to praise the Lord and call upon Him frequently.
I’m not supposed to compare myself to what others are doing or how they do it.
I’m developing my relationship with my Savior. I’m learning about Him so I can spend eternity with Him. There is no time limits on forever.
It’s very hard to stop constantly thinking of how long things take to do. It’s practically impossible. But when it comes to God, I’m trying to lift up my day and push through each moment praying it to become a continuous prayer.
Eventually, my hope is to give my Savior my whole life as one long prayer of flawed but relentless love.
An offering of all the times I-tried-and-failed, fell off the wagon but picked myself up again, and sinned the same sin over and over. He knows, He forgives and He is worth all of my time.