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Say Whaaaaat?

A little spousal advice from two Bellator Society Contributors and spouses, Angela and Daniel Green.


Angela: Said with a country-bumpkin accent, “Got that smoker working yet?” Although this was meant to be a compliment because my husband smokes amazing meat, it came across as, “Have you ordered the part and fixed the smoker YET?!!! ‘Cause I would like to feed these chitlins some BBQ one day!!”

Daniel: Walking downstairs at 5:30 in the morning ready to head out the door for work and seeing a coffee pot full of hot water. Said with a smooth, calm baritone, “You forgot to put coffee grounds in the filter again.” Despite the calming smoothness of my voice, this may not always come across as the loving feedback I should give her and I would expect someone to give me.

1Colossians 4:6 states, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one.”

Upon reading this verse, we immediately brought a 10 pound bag of salt to our neighbor and Bellator Deacon/Chaplain to bless our salt. That evening, there was a salt bath, salt tossed under beds, and margaritas. We obviously needed to season our words during this season of life.

Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her.”

How would Christ speak to his Church? Are we speaking this way to our spouse? Mercy, grace, love, understanding, forgiveness…are we remembering this as we communicate with one another?

Granted, He did flip a table in the temple, but THEN spoke with kind words.

Christian marriages should reflect the intimate and harmonious communication found perfectly through God in the Trinity—Father, Son and Holy Spirit. THIS is the true Communication from all eternity. How can we reflect this in our spousal communication?

Instead of flipping a table to get your point across, challenge yourself to rethink how you convey your thoughts. Hopefully, your wife doesn’t make you hot water in the morning for not fixing the smoker yet.

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