Love Language: Choke Hold

A year ago, I wrote a Bellator post  about my third child, Hurricane Margo. She is the child, who for the first four years of her life, was notorious for calamity of the house, including flooding the bathroom, shoving pecans into the car door window, and tactically placing Legos at the foot of my bed.

I learned that by intentionally choosing more positive words to affirm her that my attitude, and more importantly our relationship, would transform over time.

“Words of affirmation” was her love language…so I thought.

Our love languages continue to develop as time evolves. When my dear Hurricane was four, I began to identify sensory needs that she was seeking.  The Hurricane’s hugs were not only tight, they were a choke-hold move that any WW wrestler would love to keep in their bag of tricks to tap-out their next opponent. Her emotions were often labile, and she struggled calming down once in bed. I began to use techniques that I utilize as a Therapist such as joint compression, deep pressure, weighted blankets, and I let my little one squeeze my neck until I tapped out while breathlessly saying, “Uncle!”

I eventually learned that her primary love language was actually physical touch.

She is now able to communicate with me what her body needs, and although I am close to passing out from her coke hold embraces, I gladly oblige as a recipient of her strong hugs.

One of the many challenges as a parent is to learn how to fill our children’s love tanks. This requires work…prayer…and patience…and more prayer.