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Letting Go

At this very moment, we are anticipating an admissions decision from a west coast university for my son. For all of those who have been through this process, I’m sure you can relate to everything I am about to say. It is really hard letting go.

As my only son, we’ve developed a very close bond. He was my first born and I invested a lot in his upbringing so I could learn how to be a mom. It took a lot of trial and error, and while I will not say that I got it all right, I think I got really close.

I’ve seen the man he has become, and I am really proud.

A few days ago I spent some time with his girlfriend, who told me about the way my son lives his life when he is not with us. She spoke about how important his faith is to him and how it drives his decisions. She also said that he is very gentle in the way he answers her questions about faith, citing the YouCat and his own experiences. Wow! It brought tears to this mama’s eyes. Praise the Lord!

But, over the past few months I’ve been preparing myself to let him go. How do you let go of something so wonderful? I want to hold tight, and squeeze with the tightest grip so I don’t have to say goodbye. I think it is beautiful that I have been reflecting about this during Lent.

For Mary went through the same thing – although I will not equate my suffering with hers. Using Ignatian spirituality to meditate on her experience with her son’s persecution, passion and crucifixion, I can’t help but be brought to tears. Mary knew this all had to be done, and still all she could do is love him and let go.

Then when Jesus was taken down from the cross, he was laid in her arms.

She pressed her cheek upon his, and gently stroked the blood soaked hair from his face. All she could do was love him and let go, so he could be placed in the tomb and then be resurrected.

There’s much to learn from her. While I pray and hope my son doesn’t experience the suffering of Jesus, I am trying to learn from our Blessed Mother, by loving him and letting go.

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Jo Holt

Jo is a carpooling, multi-tasking wife and mother of three whimsical teenagers, who frequents the sacraments and finds humor while juggling her complicated life and praying for the gift of bi-location, so she can enjoy the art of simplicity.

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