In Your Path

Last night, DNA tests came up in conversation with my daughter’s coaches.

My daughter surprised me with a “Why don’t you tell them?” instead of the “Mooooooom!” and piercing glance she typically gives me that says “Not everyone cares about your adoption story.”

And so I shared my story of finding out through a DNA test at 46 that I was adopted. It went as most of those conversations go, and I tried to answer their questions as openly as I could. A boy of about 10 was listening intently in the waiting room, and he moved a little closer to me so that he could speak quietly. “You know,” he said. “You sound like my mom.” Not sure what he meant, I asked a few probing questions. It all came tumbling out.

He shared a story that was heartbreakingly similar to my own.

Family secrets taken to graves. An uncertainty of the truth. His mother had taken a DNA test of her own after stumbling across some clues that her family narrative might be different than the one she knew. She matched a woman online who appeared to be her sister but who refused to respond to requests to connect. I asked if he would mind if I chatted with his mom when she arrived. His smile said everything.

When his mother arrived, I introduced myself and explained how her son had briefly shared some of her story (and that I hoped she didn’t mind). I gave her the bullet-point version of my own, and her eyes welled up with tears.

We talked about adoption search resources, Search Angels, and centiMorgans.

At the end of practice, I wrote down all of the websites for her and gave her my phone number. She paused for a moment before looking me directly in the eye. “Do you ever feel like things happen for a reason? Like God puts people in your path?”

“All the time,” I responded.

“I had given up. I didn’t know what steps to take next and here you are. Thank you.”

As I drove my daughter home last night, I thought about how she had been the encouragement for me to even start the conversation. I glanced over at her in the dark and asked, “Do you ever feel like things happen for a reason? Like God puts people in your path?” She smiled, nodding.

Share This

Nicole Murphy

Nicole Murphy

Nicole Murphy lives in Northwest Arkansas with her husband, son, and daughter. She’s the only non-musician in her house, no matter how hard she tries.

Leave a Comment